At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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