i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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