Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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