i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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