You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
