You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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