I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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