forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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