You work out of a Hotel?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
