we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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