"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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