You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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