she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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