I think i peed on brittanys purse
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
