we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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