how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
