What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
