sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
