If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
