Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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