thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
