Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
