We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
