fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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