i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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