He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
