i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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