***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
