No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
