You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
