Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
