R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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