playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Two words: blizzard sex
Let's get the cat blown out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
