are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
