Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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