White coat. Heels.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There r osticjed everywhere
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
