Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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