Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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