and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
