Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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