I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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