I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
id be glad to
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
