when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
