now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
