I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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