My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she told me i tasted like america
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Randomize
