Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
