my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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