That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
