I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
