this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
