My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
We left the knife in your bed.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"