Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.