Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM