Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
  Replies (9) Good night (651) Bad night (3633)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.

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  (404): he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/ta1g
  Replies (56) Good night (8243) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face

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  (412): When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face http://tfl.nu/tsxz
  Replies (16) Good night (4060) Bad night (1303) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

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  (305): i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer. http://tfl.nu/jibz
  Replies (52) Good night (36666) Bad night (1643) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

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  (201): My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud? http://tfl.nu/2vhi
  Replies (27) Good night (7693) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".

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  (864): long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube". http://tfl.nu/njsb
  Replies (8) Good night (3128) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs

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  (618): You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs http://tfl.nu/0h2n
  Replies (6) Good night (3328) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics

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  (302): You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics http://tfl.nu/cuw1
  Replies (2) Good night (3488) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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  (661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8
  Replies (10) Good night (1717) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife

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  (802): he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife http://tfl.nu/h9mg
  Replies (9) Good night (2254) Bad night (1479) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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  (724): Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/u2pl
  Replies (5) Good night (1395) Bad night (439)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.

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  (202): Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that. http://tfl.nu/hdvk
  Replies (14) Good night (2635) Bad night (538)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...

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  (602): I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion... http://tfl.nu/4785
  Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.

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  (407): I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter. http://tfl.nu/mj4q
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.

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  (423): True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do. http://tfl.nu/f7pn
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt

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