I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
