i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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