new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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