i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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