You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
