i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
