What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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