Plan B is the new Plan A
My pussy is not your playground.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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