using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize