I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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