It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
