To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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