glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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