Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
