70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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