Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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