yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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