ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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