You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's blow job season.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
