direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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